"The truth….Ya ka?..."

This is what happens when I sitting down quietly without any interfering and let my fingers roam the keyboard without much thought about what comes next. Why must we heard what others people said about yourself. I don't have the answer...
Org ckp kita telampau berfikir kehadapan sangat.
Org lain ckp kita kene berhadapan dulu, barulah membuat tindakan
Org ckp kita terlampau berfikiran negative, maka kita selalu kalut/glabah
Org lain ckp kita kene berfikirkan positive terlebih dulu
Org ckp kita perlu megikut arus, supaya menerima sesuatu dgn seada nya
Org lain ckp kita selalu bercakap tanpa memikirkan perasaan org lain
Org ckp kita mudah memahami org lain dan percaya ngan seseorg
Org lain ckp kita hanya percayakan diri sendiri
I am all of the above and more. A contradiction of sorts, never fitting into one mould.Forever changing, never the same. I am sometimes troubled by the little things but am calm and rational facing big things. Whenever I do something, I'll always wonder "what if..", "is this right?", "should i ..", etc. Its not that I have lack of confidence. The thing is that sometimes I’m unsure. I made mistakes in the past (who hasn’t?) stupid, idiotic mistakes that cost me, amongst other things, my trust in people, my beliefs, my dignity, and much more. Even now when I have gotten over it, the memory is forever seared in my mind - about how the people that I trust most are the people that I must be most cautious of. Sounds selfish but "once bitten twice shy".The truths are:
-I believe honesty is usually always the best policy.
-I don’t watch much TV/Movies these days.
-I curse sometime. (When I really² mad).
-I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (Clash with my ex & meet SA).
-I’m paranoid at times
-I talk really² fast, sometimes people does not understand what I’m saying.
-I have a CAT(nini boy)
-I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like so much.(Cartoons)
-I like the way that I look and comfortable with myself
-I have one younger sister that I love her so much
-I am usually pessimistic
-I have a lot of friend
-I am currently single and happy at this moment
-I enjoy talking on the phone (right Ina? She is a good listener)
-I enjoy reading love story book, fact but not fiction
-I rather eat then shop
-I can’t avoid ice-cream(nyum²)
-I don’t hate anyone but I dislike them
-I believe in “Allah”
-I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life etc
But for sure this is me, and only me. ‘ Mariam ’ muahkahkahhhh.Till then I end with this hadith.Rasulullah bersabda:
"Sesungguhnya hati manusia akan berkarat sebagaimana besi yang dirosakkan oleh air. Seorang sahabat telah bertanya, "Apakah caranya untuk menjadikan hati itu bersinar kembali?" Maka jawab Rasulullah,"Banyakkanlah mengingati maut dan membaca Al Quran." (Riwayat Baihaqi)